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 You say poorly, I say practically.

You say devs are lazy, I agree.

Then without any facts or leading arguments... conspiracy theory.  
 So relays being an open spam box is practical? 
 Nostr started small and basic. This is what has allowed it to have so many contributors and products being built around it. This is what I call practical.

Creating an open network that everyone can use at scale is hard, spam has never beem solved at the protocol level. 
 lol did  you miss out on the entire Fediverse, Matrix, and XMPP? All designed way better  
 Subjective.

Sometimes all you need is a bunch of sticks to prop up a thing, not a perfectly crafted table. Sometimes that bunch of sticks is more versitile.

Hey, time will tell. 
 dude, nobody designs software this way........This is a day 1 problem...
it's really biting them in the nuts now isn't it?  
 Is it? 
 Yes. lol. You know nothing about software huh 
 My nostr experience is pretty fine, for social media, for zaps, for keeping a private spreadsheet via sheetstr, and for blogging.

I also don't see a wave of nostr devs getting frustrated with technical debt or bad design and quitting, heck I see interest growing.

Look out the other window friend.