also, i gave up on enabling auth most of the time because no clients do it properly

i honestly don't know what the fuck is going on except that nostrudel works, even next nostrudel, but NOBODY ELSE makes a client that actually talks to my relay

i consider myself forgiven for feeling paranoid about this, but there must be some more reasonable explanation!!!! 

 Heheh, yea.. 

 Amethyst older versions were awesome at connecting to specific relays.  I used that a bunch.  Now tho, prob not.. it's outbox now