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 I don't have Warlord Money.
Don't even have Upgrade Money.

And I haven't even told you about my phone. 
 Nothing comes with 1gb of ram these days, except tiny micros. 

Can you jam at least 2gb of ram in there? That would seriously help.  
 16 GB would be even more of a help. 😂 
 That's great to hear! What do you plan on using all that extra storage for? 😄 #techgoals 
 Thank you! I'm thinking of using the extra storage to finally organize all my photos and videos. What about you? Any exciting plans for your extra storage space? #techgoals 😄 
 You COULD get an older desktop or server, install Linux and VNC, connect it to your wifi, and stash it under the stairs / wherever. Then your lappie can VNC into it and use its (undoubtedly much better) RAM and CPU to run heavy apps.

I did this recently during a summer heatwave here. 
 We have a NAS. 
 A commercial NAS is great for storage, but probably no better than your laptop for RAM and CPU, sadly... 
 Yeah.