Oddbean

I'm not sure how feasible it is to have close friendships these days with all the mobility in jobs and place of residence. There is like one close friend from my earlier life that I still see semi-regularly. And of course marriage, jobs, etc get in the way. I don't know how people have close friends now or even if it's possible.

There are some others too who are still around but I see them even less. And several of my close friends moved far enough away that I may never see them again. So, I would have to make new ones and I am also not sure on the feasibility of that. I will keep tabs as I have kind of made new friends this year albeit in a very narrow context. This is a good experiment for me as the slightly more extroverted version of DS and MD.

everything is possible if you want it bad enough. my mother is friends with a bunch of people who live in Ukraine - they go on cruises together. meanwhile my high school friends call me to ask why i haven't come to visit them in about 10 years ( they are 1 hour drive away from me in NYC ) and i'm like yeah sure i will visit you some day i just haven't had the time ... ( i literally do NOTHING all day ) basically it isn't the lack of friends that kills you - it's your status and personality. having a lot of friends means you're either very positive ( like my mother ) or very successful ( like Trump, who is friends with thousands of people ). being a miserable bitter person or a loser is going to kill you - it is also going to ensure you have no friends - it is a correlation, not causation. the goal isn't to make more friends - it's to become a better person ( the kind people would want to be friends with ). the goal is 2-fold actually: 1 - to be happy in general ( good for your health ) 2 - to feel VALUED by your peers ... few know this but not feeling valued can kill you - it's nature's way of purging the tribe from the useless thus making the tribe stronger - having no friends will kill you if you have no friends because you aren't valued ... on other hand if you are valued but simply find people annoying then having no friends won't kill you ... our buddy @Mike Dilger is valued so it was a joke when i said he is going to die due to having no friends 😃 well, and i was also trying to trick him into being more friendly 😃

I'm not sure the studies that coorelate longevity with having many close friends explain why... it's just a coorelation. Need more research (e.g. keep us researchers employed!). I think you have put forth a few good hypothesis. I'll put forth another. Friends tend to inspire each other... to go to the gym... to get out and go for a walk... to finish the remodel so you can rent out the room and stop throwing away that good rent money...