Lately I've been exhausted from trying to figure out what direction life's going next, there's just so many options. Narrowing down where to place commitment is tricky when so many things sound interesting & feasible. The kid in the candy store always ends up feeling sick afterwards.
It's taken me a long time to realize why I've felt so stuck for so long but I'm relieved to have some perspective now. A couple sleepless nights aren’t a bad thing, when the ceiling finally gives up its sercets. Shifting from one focus to another requires a lot of attention and intention. Figuring out what that next focus is, deserves it's own type of respect.
I've been neglecting that part, because I didn't really want to admit to myself that I can't do everything. Instead, I've been letting myself become obligated to the needs & whims of others, filling any spare time with mindless & stressful noise rather than the beautiful tune of inspiration or some silent space to sort it all out... thinking "I'll figure this out eventually"... which I guess isn't wrong but also not right. I still have no idea what I want to do, but I know I'm not going to figure it out of I don't spend some time with it.
Flawed human confession... feels good lol💜