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 I just happen to own the largest motorcycle dealership in Wyoming. 
 wellll... i want something that can do the highway fine but can also go offroad, it doesn't need to be powerful, so long as it can actually move at some velocity on a steep slope

when it comes time for me to make a move, i'm sure that i could be assisted by you 
 maybe you can point me somewhere to help me do all the skinner pigeon dances that get the seeds to come out of the feeder, like long term residence and drivers licences? 
 My husband really likes the Kawasaki KLR650.  It is good on-road and off-road and has a very large gas tank, which is handy when it is a long ways to the nearest gas station.  The only pseudo-problem with it is that it is a little on the tall side.  It is taller than I am comfortable with, so if you have short legs, you might prefer something else. 
 KLR is a very small tractor disguised as a motorcycle 
 i'm not really in so much of a hurry to need 650, honestly, a 250 4 stroke is enough for me, i had problems with a kinda heavy 50cc and hills but i don't think a 250 is gonna totally choke on most of the hills i might encounter, and worst case, fuck it, turn around, maybe there's a more gentle slope to the same destination, or not

i'm not young enough anymore to care, and wasn't that excited about going fast, every time i go fast i have flashbacks of every time i've slid on gravel and tarmac in my life and i am fine to go a bit slower... just as long as it stops fast and isn't too heavy i'll keep my eyes open 
 i recently had a tumble on some steep concrete "road" near me a few weeks back and i'm just glad i didn't break any bones but it took 6 weeks for everything to get back to normal, i just don't feel the need to push those kinds of boundaries at all, it was never in my temperament, and whenever i got possessed of such stupidity it tended to end up being regrettable