> As of this writing, $1 will buy you 14,488 sats. Spend $70, and you are a satoshi millionaire.
This looks off by a factor of 10, or you left out the historic date you'rereferring back to. Right now it's about 1,136 sats per dollar. Or $879.85 per million sats. A million sats is 0.01 BTC.