How much of the kweer madness is due to "fear of missing out?" A painful, clawing need to be included? My gender-afflicted loved one had a meltdown because he couldn’t be in constant contact with his friends for a mere few days. He admitted feeling depressed because they could "make plans" without him, because he would have no say or even know what was going on.

This unsettled me. He spends the majority of his time with friends as it is, whether out and about or at home on his phone or computer. And it is generally not work related.
I have long thought his begendered status may have arisen from a desire to connect with certain people, and now these connections are consuming his every waking thought. 

 Most of this is a club, yes.  That’s especially true for the teen/young adult stuff.  It’s a way to fit in with a group, sort of like Goth or punk used to be, but much more deranged.  Being constantly online just makes it worse.