You can force the client to have the event ID or address in order to ask for kind 5s. Meaning, clients can't ask for all kind 5s. They need to ask for kind 5s of a given `e` or `a` tag or from the logged in user.
yeah, could even be a policy where they are only given out to users who are followed by the npub being requested... i'm just gonna treat it as a blanket tombstone message for now, i think that is more important than not propagating the kind 5 signal (that i may have leaked something in the referred to event)