I agree with so much of this.  I always felt pretty much the same.  The one thing that got me thinking was that it only makes sense that there is one creator,  not a bunch of different ones.  So if that's the case,  all religions might be claiming to know that their god is the creator,  but in fact there can only be one true God. Buddhism has dozens of gods, which doesn't make any sense.  There must be one Supreme being above all who created all. 

The fact that there are thousands of accounts of Jesus rising from the dead has a strong indication that God was at hand. 

I always struggled with organized religion as well for the same reasons.  During covid i almost offed myself due to various reasons.  Out of desperation i tried one last thing,  praying to Christ. Within 3 months my two massive requests were answered.  I couldn't deny what had happened. These two things eluded me for over two decades.  This lead me to spend the rest of the lock down reading the Bible.  I found so much wisdom there that i wish i had known earlier. 

This is how my eyes were opened.  We've only recently joined a church but with some hesitancy.  I'm certainly grateful to have read a bunch of the teachings first. 

Anyways,  sounds like you're on the right path brother.  Pray that God would open your eyes to truth.  Because the truth matters.  Religion aside,  i pray that you would make that genuine connection with the one true God. It is full of fruit.  Changed my life beyond comprehension and i always disliked religion and particularly Christianity. God has been doing a great work within me. 

Blessings.  May God draw near to you.  
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