Oddbean

▲ ▼

 I've overheard some people talk like that about past dates. It's such a weird conversation. Like you said, like they were talking about someone applying for a job that they weren't qualified for.

▲ ▼

 I’ll be honest and say I’ve talked about dates with friends like the date was a candidate applying for a job they weren’t qualified for. I’ve also been on a date and felt like I’m not qualified to be here, I’ll just excuse myself.

▲ ▼

 😅

▲ ▼

 I dated someone like that, for a while. He really liked me, but his whole circle was so Oxbridge posh that I felt like the maid crashing their parties and was like nah. The whole thing was weird.

▲ ▼

 I had a sweet girl who had overcome a lot and made a lot of progress in life say to me, on a third date, “Eh, I’ll probably fuck this up. I always fuck up the good ones.” It was really sad she thought about herself that way.

▲ ▼

 It’s sad but it’s also really good to know if a potential partner doesn’t believe they’re capable of changing their behavior patterns.

▲ ▼

 For sure. It’s amazing how people show and tell us who they are, if only we’ll listen. Admittedly, I had to fight the urge to jump into savior mode (as if). Thank god for the lessons of therapy. I was not surprised by the self-immolation that shortly followed.

▲ ▼

 Yikes! Sounds like it didn’t end well.

▲ ▼

 Yeah, funny how some people can’t simply opt-out gracefully. They have to blow something up so there’s a justification in their mind.

▲ ▼

 Low self-esteem, yeah.
I get it.