Wouldn't an out of band payment always be less economical than just mining the free market of fee attached transactions? Essentially these miners would be doing a "favor" no fee attached transaction for whoever wants to be included in the block correct?
Depends, a user’s wallet might not have a way to do RBF easily or they may not have enough funds available on chain.
I think if it became pervasive miners would be doing themselves a disservice by constantly taking out of band transactions. They could do it no doubt but they would be missing out on revenue. I could see them doing it for dust to help consolidate for people.
To be clear, out of band fees is not the same thing as out of band transactions.
I fully expect fee and transaction markets will progress to be public and private. The same way it costs more for a person with a brokerage account to transact in public markets vs those connected to the exchange. I don't see any problem with that. The market will develop how it does.
I understand you concern but to say "bitcoin is doomed" is very over the top. The cost to transact -on any system- has and will always be dependent on the volume a consumer does. This is how all public markets operate.