some guy noticed that banks and financial institutions have really complex procedures for trusting each other and following the same rules. he came up with a way to use proof of work to get rid of all of that stuff. when I see lightning people having to resort to this kind of behavior it looks like a sad regression to me.
I agree, but fact is lightning is what we have, especially around nostr. And any system of social interaction requires incentive structures a protocols. While you can take away blind trust with our technology, for an actual exchange of 2 things, a service or product and payment, you always need some agreed upon rules and an incentive to behave honestly.