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 > users want a relationship with ONE hosting provider

That's a valid starting point. 
Nostr ultimately incentivizes users to have **their own** relay (+ blossom server) too. It's the most cost effective way to solve for privacy, speed, bandwidth, limiting read-access to publications, etc... 
Plus, in the case where relays are a keypair, it's probably the simplest way to handle key delegation, rotation, etc... too.  
 Yes but then the websocket API and Nostr events are nothing but deliberately giving up on the rich history of HTTP apis just because people don't think clearly and bundle data storage, finding that data storage, and global sync in the same universal API.

This is just waste. We knew how to build client-server apis before nostr, and JSON over websocket is clearly inferior and limiting compared to HTTP verbs, headers and semantics. 
 Oh sorry, didn't see this yet: 
nostr:nevent1qvzqqqqqqypzpycvemcjxuka9utq2l8u2ncdhk2rxhvt2x6wyumjx6cqe2m33lxeqqst4qrf03vjaj04f0zws8dd73axn3mx225h0wvcuahuhd2q54a8mps9fr0yw