Two men led a team of 80 people and spent five years collecting 1.2 million golden orb spiders, carefully milking them for their silk to create the rarest textile on Earth: a golden silk cape. https://image.nostr.build/65bdb76d5d9cead9fa75cc65603076244252b525ddfd6b6cc105121973857989.jpg  

 Looks like it has three pairs of testicles hanging in the middle. 

 Is it machine washable? 

 Only in this:

https://www.craiyon.com/image/_PpCuY1fQsC9g9YY-1wMIQ 

 Does it get stuck in your face as you walk past?