Oddbean new post about login | logout Growing up is recognizing that your parents were people to and they make mistakes. They were not around forever and were learning as they go. Forgiveness and boundaries can go along way.
For me the challenge is discovering how both my parents were emotionally immature even though they were highly intelligent. Self consumed with making money while advancing their careers. I can forgive them. I can set boundaries. However trying to correct and resolve both known and unknown personality issues. Which was caused by their irresponsible actions. Is the hardest challenge that I strive to overcome daily. Like cleaning a wild bird covered in sludge after a spill from the SS parents oil tanker.
Parent child interactions have so many nuances many can't even begin to resolve them. I'm glad you've made a conscious effort to forgive them and set boundaries. Some don't even do that and they'd cut them off. I think everyone is different and I can't speak for every situation in one post, though, some mitigate conflict from expulsion which is no different than death.