Sometimes Tor doesn’t work well if there is other encryption services at play. You mentioned that you disabled your vpn, Look more into the Nextcloud service. As well, Sometimes Tor over IPv6 leaks data to the VPN client. Tor wants to be exclusive to clearweb servers. Trying to go between both on your computer is tricky. 

 i think it may be a hardware issue, bc i'm running another instance of startos on an old laptop,  with far worse specs, and that one i can connect to. it's the more powerful machine that's always having issues 

 Yeah maybe some sandbox problems around these kind of software platforms.