Oddbean new post about login | logout Short story: I have curly hair. But I straighten it for work to appear “professional.” Or I wear a bun to look “serious.” These ideas were shaped by social norms + experiences where I’ve been the only woman in the room or dealt w sexual harassment/bias. But when my 15yo niece visited last week, I marveled at her stunning curls. “It just dries this way,” she said. And it dawned on me - Wait, mine does too! Or would if I paid less attention to cultural expectations. So I think I’ll do that now.
@b5cdaf1a I totally applaud this! I'm so shocked at the issues I've run into, even in the last year or two, with my curly hair being "difficult" for on-camera work. It feels a certain way, all right.
@b5cdaf1a Yay! I was similarly indoctrinated but gave up straightening when I moved to Oklahoma for my first teaching job (WAY too difficult in that heat and humidity). Twelve years later, no regrets.
@b5cdaf1a Waves of wisdom. (And buns of convenience when you lack the time for a good air dry). I endorse!
@b5cdaf1a My hair is excessively curly and drying it straight was never an option. It just wouldn’t work because it’s just too curly. So I’ve learned to make peace with it over the years because I didn’t have another choice. But when I was a kid, it was the source of a lot of bullying. So I totally get it. I hope you find a way that works for you!
@b5cdaf1a I don't have curly hair
@b5cdaf1a Societal pressures right? Good on you for have the courage to wave a fuck you in the face of those
@b5cdaf1a I want to be vulgar about this, but will refrain myself out of respect. I hate the idea of always looking & acting professional by the standards of others. I'm an adult, I know how to look clean and presentable, how to interact with others in this setting, & how to behave. To this day my mom still hates that I don't do my hair "like I should." Who cares, I still get stuff done and we're doing better than ever.
@b5cdaf1a CIS male here. Grew up Jewish in Southern Indiana, and would comb my hair out every day, battling those beautiful curls.
@b5cdaf1a Thank you for sharing this experience. Anyone who doesn't get why the Crown Act was important, just doesn't understand how corrosive it is to only have one kind of hair be acceptable in the world. https://www.thecrownact.com
@b5cdaf1a Unfortunately you're not the first person I've heard say she thought her curly hair was somehow "unprofessional." I'm really sorry that constrained you; there's plenty of awful appearance restrictions but that was one I really wasn't aware of.
@b5cdaf1a While men waxed and oiled, my mom, grandmother, & great aunts curled. Curly hair is a sign of health, my mom says. She’s envied wavy hair so much, I felt bad reading Anne Lammott complain about hair. Hair’s changed over time: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AFI%27s_100_Years...100_Stars
@b5cdaf1a More power to you. The male experience with critiques of appearance is nothing compared to what women in the public eye face. The cultural expectations around 'orderly' anglo hair is one thing that weirdly crosses cultures and genders. I get angry tweets and comments telling me to cut my hair all the time... often from the same folks that use anti-Semitic rhetoric
@b5cdaf1a Let your curly hair FREE!!
@b5cdaf1a Ingrid Bergman, Gaslight, 1944, https://files.mastodon.social/media_attachments/files/111/063/501/308/196/364/original/fc542f8d1f8d2074.png
