anyway i didn't have a crush on that girl or anything.  she was just pretty and we were taking a class together.  it was a pivotal moment though because up to that point i believed that it was bullies in school who were wrong not me.  my own older sister made fun of me for being fat trying to give me a hint that being fat is not OK.  but i ignored the bullies, and i was hurt by my sister's comments not understanding that she cared about me.  it's only when a girl i had a stiffy for expressed it in no uncertain terms that the message finally got through to me and i was able to take action. 

as i wrote elsewhere obesity is caused by denial.  it's the same in that sense as gambling or alcoholism.  the first step to solving a problem is realizing / admitting that you have a problem.

our nature is to rationalize things away ( instead of fixing problems ) all the way up to the point where doing so becomes impossible.  the girl was nothing special - i remember her because she was that point.