Oddbean new post about login | logout I think we've all been grossly discounting how much of womens' time and fertility is being wasted on maintaining an income stream or professional qualification, as insurance against bad husbandry. I'm going to call it "defensive careerism".
grossly is a pretty apt term. The situation is indeed pretty gross.
I've been hearing women talk in this "defensive careerism" manner my entire life, without digesting what they were REALLY saying. And without considering why I don't feel the need to do likewise (I own my own appreciating property and he regularly buys me more.) It's a societal noise that is destroying the marital signal, but this is something Bitcoin really could fix.
Athing that I think may be true: The problem with living from a position of defensive anything is that it leads to pernicious narcissism. The issue is that in defensive posture everything is processed through the lens of threat to self. It values securing self above everything. Makes relationships very hard to navigate on both sides and almost impossible if both partners are so afflicted.
Yup. 💯 I'm too much of an engineer to just say "Stop being afraid," tho. Why should they stop, if the situation that incited the fear didn't change?
thats why they are stuck is my guess.
Then I suppose it's a good thing that I'm a single dad.
hahaha thats one way to look at it. Priorities are well aligned anyway.
According to @Laeserin I'm misogynistic. So... I don't know! 🤷♂️🤣
I dont even wanna know what you did lol
https://i.nostr.build/jYLPG.gif
How much attention do you need?
LOL run out of arguments, I see.
This character and the human are both my kryptonite. I actually cried when she had throat surgery. weird I know but Mary bin my girl from short pants days
I loved her in The Sound of Music, but Mary Poppins was also fantastic.
the filming technique they used to create the cartoon world immersion was lost until recently. It makes green screen look primitive. eg. you can see background clearly through her sheer head scarf. cool trick with a prism and using a yellow soda light.
I actually rewatched it a couple of weeks ago and it's quite impressive, I agree.
I wonder what the insurance against bad husbandry was 200 years ago? 🤔
Many poor women didn't marry (that hasn't changed). They lived in service. Family businesses and especially farms offered an appreciating investment that middle-class women (or their children) maintained access to. And there was social pressure to financially support wives indefinitely, even if you wanted to schtupp the maid, and it was difficult to marry that maid. Wealthy women had jewels, real estate, property their male relatives held in trust, etc. And, of course, your male relatives were a threat, legal and physical, in their own right. What has changed is the overemphasis on salaried income. Particularly future salaried income.
Interesting points. I'm not familiar with all that specific data. So the main theory is that women being more financially independent makes them more likely to get and stay married? And that women were more financially independent 200 years ago than they are today, which is why marriage is less common and less successful now than in the past?
I don't know if they were more personally independent, but they had property rights and access to durable goods other than a house, and they could hold these in title. (Or on behalf of minor children: a lot of the fuss is about securing inheritance for your own children through something other than a will, rather than letting The New Girl move in and steal or sell their stuff.)
Modern housewives often own nothing but access to his income stream, and that is a right has been legally eroded (through no-fault divorce and rampant male remarriage, for instance ) and he can more easily cut her off from it or simply protest by ending the pursuit of income. No differently than before, she can best gain access to that stream by simply living with him and lying with him, which leads to "feeling trapped". Middle class women are being asked to reduce or abandon their income stream (which would raise their fertility and their husbands' income) and rely on his, but he usually doesn't offer compensation for her risk, so she clings to that stream.
