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 Then don’t use those relays or clients doing it. 
 How do I find out which ones do? 
 Excellent question. Keeping your ear to the ground and asking around probably.
Over the years I assume people will make spreadsheets comparing the relays and clients and those columns will be on there. 
For now, it’s about finding out.
For example, I recently contacted one of the major app-dev/relay-hoster about potentially-illegal content referenced in a post. They said they wouldn’t do anything about it because the content wasn’t hosted by them.