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 Bless your heart. Yes. You are cool. Let me know what you wind up using software wise for a relay. I'm curious about that myself.  
 So in #Start9 's #StartOS there is one build-in Nostr Relay called "Nostr RS Relay" version 0.8.13. This only exposes an address via TOR (and another local one, via naked HTTP on a LOCAL address).

So I'm stuck either using a iOS nostr client that supports TOR (I've found none yet) or using something like a WireGuard VPN tunnel on-the-go to connect my iPhone to my home network to be able to connect to the naked HTTP.LOCAL port.

Simply put: I am not able to use my Nostr relay.

What am I missing #asknostr ? How can I use my own relay while using a popular client like @primal on my iPhone? 
 https://nostrcheck.me/media/23a2cf63ec81e65561acafc655898d2fd0ef190084653fa452413f75e5a3d5bc/d2349ad9fb49723f7317c6064ae7c24ab5deef0b477d02da9808a702c18cb029.webp