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 nostr is just a messaging API

the definition of it is partially centralized and some of the participants have been extremely unilateral in many decisions on that repository

the actual implementations are extremely variable, in part because the specification is vague in many places

what makes it decentralized is that ultimately there is no such thing as an "official" compliant API implementation and clients don't get restricted to one set of "official" relays to request events from and publish to 
 you're right, it's interesting when you look at nostr this way. nips are supposed to be standards but it's basically just chaos. the only thing that's universally implemented is nip-01 and maybe nip-02

and yet, it's working somehow. kinda like the internet itself. incredible that any of it works at all. 
 SPAM has become decentralized. Anything goes. Clients are responsible, LOL 
 SMTP is also a centralized protocol, and it has nothing to do with official implementations or servers. The centralization pressure is baked into its design. The same is true for nostr unfortunately.