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 Why aren't relay developers implementing NIP17? I haven't found one yet that supports it.  
 Many clients already offer, including 0xChat with is a client just for DMs and chats.  
 does this even affect relays?

oh

my relay already does, i just had a short exchange with vitor here about whether kind 5s should be given out to anyone if the relay auths... i decided that kind 5s are just must be public messages even if it signals an alert to bad guys of an event ID they may want to keep

https://realy.lol

getting into the late beta on this, release will be soon hopefully, sooner if i get sponsored to make it even better 
 Private: auth.nostr1.com or inbox.nostr.wine 
Public: nos.lol (this gets notifications to your) 
 There is also relay.0xchat.com 
 Do they support NIP17? I haven't seen that, but maybe the information I'm looking at hasn't been updated with the NIP17 implementation?  
 They do, yes.  
 if relays implement and require auth, they can prevent sending out your DMs to randos

nostr:nevent1qvzqqqqqqypzp8fh6pde8z0yxl8709xdxzxecmunjf4lc0yc88zdr97pqtl6lrz8qqsy9f9spladr29klxraf82mtt4lq40e8pgq84ls653zzddnc6ncv9qw7peuz

this is a big part of why i have been screaming about clients supporting auth

because you can't have business users who can't be given reasonable guarantees that their proprietary information isn't protected by the software

i'm maybe not so great at lucidly expressing that in a consise form but it's obvious to anyone who understands business IT requirements 
 100%. 💯 this 👆