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 I get on and wander around trying to figure it out. I need to learn more about Bitcoin, am unconcerned about other crypto, need to know a safe wallet to use. Just ignorant af. 
 General Bitcoin Wallet Tips

first, which wallet you want to use completely depends on what u want to do with your bitcoin and how secure you want it to be. Different options = different tradeoffs. Afaik there's no complete overview bc of the complexity and amount of different options (opensource movements be like that). 

ideally you should strive to get a hardware wallet device (better known as: a bitcoin signer device) to learn to secure your bitcoin cold (offline): 
- seedsigner.com
- coldcard.com 
- a jade shop.blockstream.com  

in the meantime, withdraw your bitcoin at least with a selfcustodial hot (online) wallet on your phone or on desktop 
- sparrowwallet.com / onchain desktop 
- bluewallet.io / onchain app + desktop

you can also withdraw your bitcoin with the lightning network or other layer 2's built on Bitcoin, either selfcustodial or not (again, depends on your own wishes), but here's a couple options:
- ln.tips with Telegram app (custodial, Lightning) 
- blockstream.com/liquid (custodial, Liquid) 
- phoenix.acinq.co (selfcustodial, Lightning; watch @btcsessions tutorials on phoenix wallet) 
 AVOID OTHER COINS, THEY ARE ALL SCAMS

BUY ANONYMOUSLY IF POSSIBLE (ROBOSATS, BISQ, HODLHODL)

SELF CUSTODY YOUR COINS (HARDWARE WALLET)

HODL WHILE YOU STUDY MOAR