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 Why can’t we do gossip AND be able to replace random relays with ones you specify? 

Default assigned, user specified if desired (no changing once set). 
 Meaning if user sets relays manually gossip disengages, and if cleared again, goes back to random assignment 
 Honestly, I would just prefer that every note anyone interacts with gets rebroadcasted to their relays.

Let the Relays manage duplicates. If no one interacts with it, and its on an obscure relay. then its not worth spreading.  
 How would you find the obscure relay in the first place? 
 Someone posted it. right? That relay must have others, no?

Unless a person is posting notes only to their own relay that no one is on. Then that's really an unrealistic expectation.  
 Rebroadcast works in most cases, but in an extreme scenario where someone is blocked in all relays except his own, you have to fetch the notes directly from that relay.  
 Sure. But the system doesn't have to cater for these fringe cases which will almost never happen. Especially for an open source extremely under funded project. 🤷‍♂️  
 This is not an extremely underfunded project … 😂 
 Hahaha.... ok then I don't want to hear any of the devs fussing for a good 5 years. 🤣  
 Not everyone will be funded obviously but the ones who are should figure this out 
 There is funding.

But there are other problems. We don't have a unified vision, we don't have unified management, we are cats running in different directions, there are scores of different software all trying to interoperate by speaking a protocol that keeps having breaking changes and which has different interpretations and wildly different schemes added on that are not part of the protocol, and where there are still very hard problems like key rollover that nobody seems to be able to solve. 
 Chaos theory. 
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 If clients are finding notes properly there is absolutely no need to specify them, at least for reading  
 Some people don’t want to connect to any random relay for whatever reason so having some choice would be nice I think 
 Think we need to work on the ux for "nostr registries" - public documents from an npub you trust showing you the npubs, relays and clients they trust/endorse.

nostr:nevent1qqs024dpmac6axvsjt5glqut9ccya5h3d2092cmnmrzcpucvjmtf74qpr4mhxue69uhkummnw3ezucnfw33k76twv4ezuum0vd5kzmp0qgsdcnxssmxheed3sv4d7n7azggj3xyq6tr799dukrngfsq6emnhcpsrqsqqqqqppdcw2y

nostr:nevent1qqsdc8mjyxjefrlxjatsvt395eqx942j0fam9zdfw8wdgtzatqvfwqgprdmhxue69uhhyetvv9ujumn0wd68yurvv438xtnrdakj7q3qm3xdppkd0njmrqe2ma8a6ys39zvgp5k8u22mev8xsnqp4nh80srqxpqqqqqqz8gea8x