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 That can never scale as much as we'll need if we're serious about replacing DNS, so it's pointless to try.

But of course some people will try and have a lot of fun and make a lot of bold claims for many years. 
 have you seen any proposed solutions you’re drawn to as possibly interesting directions? any strawman ideas to spitball? 
 My preferred solution involves creating a so-called "spacechain" -- a parallel blockchain dedicated to this that relies on Bitcoin and don't have any shitcoins in it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N2ow4Q34Jeg (specifically I want them without the burning, but that is irrelevant).

There are many possible ways, none yet possible in the current Bitcoin, unfortunately. I made a prototype that worked on signet: https://github.com/nbd-wtf/soma, but this was a long time ago, and I thought we were close to getting APO on Bitcoin 4 years ago, but how naïve I was.

The question of preventing namesquatting I think can be handled gracefully by just releasing shorter name availabilities slowly, with a fixed predetermined schedule -- kinda like Runes did with the names of their shitcoins.