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 i have the most incredibly debilitating spasm in the muscle ... i think it's the one between the upper front pelvis and thigh, idk what it is, but i can't lie down... i can actually stand up more comfortably

this is obviously because of electrolytes and neuropathy and lack of flexibility

i'm giving it a good blast from an infrared lamp heater and i literally would not be able to operate my pc in the seated position right now,, i cannot bring my leg into that position without suffering extreme discomfort 

just gonna give it a lot of IR and hope it eases it off enough to be able to actually sleep because at this point i can't sleep 
 i actually can squat, ironically, so long as i don't put any strain on my left side 
 Have you tried consuming cannabis, or hemp products? Indica and hybrid strains that have a high percentage of cbg, cbd, cbn, and thc. The last one is optional, but still beneficial too. 

Consuming it in homemade edible form is good. Rick simpsons oil would have the most profound impact on your overall health. Which could potentially become life changing for you. 
 i know weed would stop this in its tracks

it may be portugal but i'd still be technically breaking the law 
 Hemp based products I am almost certain is legal in Portugal. There is no real difference between medical grade hemp products and medical grade cannabis products. They are the exact same plant. The only difference by definition is the allowed thc percentage. 

Please believe me when I say I want you to feel  better now. I used to own a licensed medical cannabis company. We specialized in caring for patients with many debilitating diseases. If you need help finding medicine in your country. I will assist you in that goal so it is 100% legal.  
 the only stuff i can get here is HHC or CBD extracts

i already know that those don't help much, they help, a little, like right now, probably it would ease it off enough that i could sleep and recover

but only proper drug cannabis really destroys the spasms, it's a fucking crime it's illegal 
 I agree. It is a cruel crime. 

If you can find it please search for whole spectrum rick Simpsons oil derived from hemp. Cbd is overhyped. Cbg and cbn are the most important for pain relief of all kinds. The reason it is not widely known, or popular is, because they are not found in significant concentrations within the flowers. Which is where most of the cannabis and hemp products are derived from.

Rick Simpsons oil is the whole plant with full spectrum cannabinoids and terpenes intact. Everything from the roots, stalk, leaves, and flowers are dried, cured, and boiled down with high proof alcohol. Until all that is left is purest form of cannabis and hemp extract you could ever hope for.  
 Motion is lotion. 
 i have to stand up, or squat, there is no lying down ant it's 10:19pm 
 How about five pillows under your leg lying on your back, kind of like a squat position? 
 by the morning i have been able to sleep also on my right side, with the busted muscles elevated and relaxed... feeling a lot better now

but there is a few things that this really debilitating muscle spasm have pushed in front of me now

this is caused mainly by peripheral neuropathy and made worse by a weakened kidney and dehydration

i have to cut out diuretics altogether, i have to completely stop consuming seed oils and starchy carb foods, and especially the two combined, oh and malty carbs too, those are out

and i have to start doing situps as damn well soon as i can actually raise my leg that way to do them, because the last cause of this, the straw that broke the camel's back, is that my abs are weak and combined with the amount of steep hill climbing i have to do here in my new place, the muscle is just overworked, and has too little electrolytes and on top, the nerves are not signalling correctly

it's already eased off a lot and i have to take this very seriously and make all the changes required to push this completely back to the point where i have no more issues with cramping

what happens even worse than just the existing static spasm of this muscle now is when my calf muscles are put under heavy strain because it can't hold the weight and they start to go into spasm too 
 In any case, I hope it gets better soon.