that makes sense in theory and is something i generally agree with. 

however in practical terms, it is more nuanced and challenging. especially when considering fundamental skills like reading and basic math (addition, subtraction). or getting them to the point where they are well prepared for self directed learning and starts to care more about anything other than cheap dopamine hits.

while i nudge them and provide incentives to spend time to learn, most of the time was spent on watching youtube short and tiktok. this became exponentially problematic over time, forcing some change. 

its better now, but i still feel there is (always) room for improvement.

as long as the trend or projection is going in the right direction, i feel more confident as a parent. which also gives me more energy to withstand the social and governmental pressure.

do you have any practical dos and donts?

its been quite the journey for myself. im still collecting as many points of views and guidances as i can to increase my desicion space so i can better support my kids. 

 I’ve met several parents of illiterate children as old as 11-12 years. There’s bo research here, but anectdotally they will learn to read, quickly, when they need it (which they will). The principal of Sudbury Valley claims they’ve not seen a single case of dyslexia, which he blames on coercive reading instruction.

So, maybe I’m misunderstanding your second paragraph, but it doesn’t make sense to me. They come out of the womb well prepared for self directed learning, and how do you, as an external observer, distinguish cheap dopamine hits from learning? (I don’t think it’s possible).

That said, all kids are different, as are parents, and I don’t mean any of this in a judgemental way. I generally assume parents know best what works for them.

I have some do’s and dont’s, but mostly fail to adhere to’em. I just try to avoid coercive measures, be open to them being right and me being wrong, enforce (my) boundaries and be honest.

Our #1 rule is «pick your battles». Stuff generally work out, and relaxed parents are a resource worth protecting.