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 It is unfortunate that anytime I want an easy private transaction nowadays, I never consider Bitcoin at any point. It's only ever Monero. 
 Exactly. Time is also money. 

I'm losing time finicking with keeping to best privacy practices of lightning and maintaining it going forwards (running your own node, CJing before/after opening and closing channels, choosing who I want to have receiver privacy from: a proxy node wrapping invoices for me or the general public. Hopefully will get better once BOLT12 gains more adoption). Same thing with coinjoining with the addition of high fees. Ecash is the best UX of those, but I have the possibility of being rugged 100% of my money (accidentally or intentionally) hanging over me especially at these early stages.  
 I shut my lightning node down earlier this year, the risks and difficulty of setup and maintenance just wasn't worth it to me, especially as the value of Bitcoin went up. 
 Don't even know what you are all talking about. Monero is really so simple by comparison and we get full privacy without questions.  
 and this is not a good thing

but monero *is pretty fucking cool