Right? Here's the normie diversified portfolio:


Buy a house(if the banks give you permission to use their printed money.)

Put 60% of your money in an Index Fund that earns 11% on average.

You're beating the CPI, but your groceries gonup by 13% for some unknown reason. Better vote for the best golf player because this is the most important election of your life again.

Never diversify your currency unless you visit Mexico and plan on buying souvenirs made in China.

But you must diversify into something safe like government debt. It's safe because the government can print money. (This is literally in I Will Teach You To Be Rich) This debt has an ENDLESS SUPPLY. Don't fuck around with "speculative" investments like bit‐CON that's not "backed by anything." Buy 40% Bonds to DiVeRsIfY.

I've had many arguments over quantum computing, government bans, environmental concerns, tax evasion, drugs and boiling the oceans, but nobody ever defends this madness.