You're being fed synthetic discussions to keep the appearance that your leaders are in control of the situation and all they'd need to do is to "unchain" their proxies with a pen stroke. 
To rationalize you come up with conspiratorial tales of your leaders actually not wanting to destroy Russia but in secret having other obscure "plans". 
Your ego is tied to the ability of your nation state being able to impose its will on other people and and it's doing everything to avoid an existential crisis. 
The architects of this conflict are fully aware of this and they are using it to keep you at bay. 

Keep trusting the plan.