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 "it's a long answer, but let me add..." 
Haha jk...
You know your long answers are always appreciated.  
 It's not an answer to your question, but I would steer someone to Wallet of Satoshi (I know it's non-custodial) and Bitrefill. Or Strike and Bitrefill.

Most people want to spend money.  So let them know, that yes, you can spend bitcoin.

Allow them to realize for themselves that they don't really want to spend it. At least not all of it.