I wrote the chorus relay https://github.com/mikedilger/chorus which uses techniques similar to strfry to offer crazy performance, but with some extra techniques Doug didn't use to make the performance even crazier fast.  But I don't actually know if it is actually faster than strfry since nobody has run performance testing to find out (you know what they say about best laid plans and also about dry-labbing... I can't claim anything since I don't actually know).

But chorus can be configured as a personal relay (doesn't allow events that come in to be immediately read back by others, so it can't be responsible for spam or illegal content, making your life easier) or a regular relay.  I use mine as a personal relay and moderate content (so it can be read back out) and use it as both an INBOX and an OUTBOX (and DMs now too).

Yes, gossip is my main project, a desktop client.  Chorus helps me to improve gossip since I can clearly see and take to heart what is happening on both sides of a nostr connection.