Ok, if you go to Amethyst, you will see 7-8 relays in inbox and Outbox. That's too much. 

Select 3 from Outbox trust to keep your posts. This could include paid relays. nostr.wine (if you are paying) is great here. 

Select 3 from Inbox that are open to anyone to post. nos.lol and nostr.mom are great here. 

For Private Inbox/DM relays add: 
- nos.lol
- auth.nostr1.com 
- relay.0xchat.com

Hit the Default button for Search to have better @tagging.