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 I know Phoenix allows to connect to your own electrum server in order to scan the block chain, but Phoenix allow to connect to your own lightning node? 
 Phoenix is a node on your phone. 
 And i do not use lightning for spending. I only use for managing some sats here and there. I don't trust LN. I prefer my btc on-chain. 
 I love lightning for spending, but yeah me too always keep the stack onchain. At the beginning it was very difficult to use bitcoin to pay in stores, due to the confirmation time, I think lightning was a great advance that made this possible. 
 That's not my approach: to pay bills or goodies with btc. For this kind of situation i have some bucks (gresham's law). But your point is right if someone likes to pay with sats.