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 I'm not familiar enough with the DM chat NIPs to answer this with any confidence. @Vitor Pamplona and @hodlbod and @fiatjaf all know more than me about multi-party DM. 
 I don't know if I follow? Can't you just send each as a separate event? 
 You could but if a big stack of DMs goes to a large relay they can rate limit or block, as it can look like spam. 

cc: npub1ymt2j3n8tesrlr0yhaheem6yyqmmwrr7actslurw6annls6vnrcslapxnz 
 Just pick 2+ relays for your kind 10050 relay list and you should be good. Local backups are a good extra measure, either on a local relay or using a jsonl file.