I have eaten only eggs and steak for months - after a week, your shit gets back to normal. 

 Important facts since I’m about to embark and often wear suits 

 I mean... shitting myself would be unacceptable no matter what I wear 🤔

Just don't fart. And eat plenty of salt, somehow that seems to help. 

 You can’t trust farts but there are garments more amenable to washing than Italian suits 

 Haha true, fair point. Like I said: DON'T FART 😂 

 Absolutely! 

 Lots of farts from the mushrooms which seems to really smooth out and soften the turds, really 8 out of 10 on the turd scale for comfort and form. happy my family is away. 

 If I was on my computer I’d zap you for this critical information. Smoothness is critical.