Your motivational system has to be fine tuned for searching the truth as it is often a heart wrenching enterprise. Ultimately for the good of body and soul, but on the short-term it can tear you to pieces.
A lot of people go about finding the truth the wrong way. They say "where am I now" and what "truth" should I support to benefit me my in my current situation the most. Where they should be asking, "Irrespective of what I want, what is the real truth? and how to I get myself to a position that benefits the most from that real truth?"
Amen brother, i think that is the correct approach to seeking truth in the deepest sense, knowing full well self-sacrifice is inevitable.