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 I haven't found any good solutions, unfortunately.

(I have several bad and ineffective ones that could win elections, though) 
 Public hangings? 
 Pay per view wood chipper. Same with pedos. 
 That's true. No point wasting perfectly good compost. 
 Pay per SWATing will go up, too.

I need to stop thinking of this as a social problem and more as a business opportunity 
 It’s both. Give the proceeds to the victims of the perpetrators. 
 Would improve endpoint security, for sure! 

(After we hang all the smart toasters and their dimwit owners.)

Probably won't stop the autistic trolls, though. Most of this stuff is cross-border already. 
 Step 1: scan people's homes for exploitable IoT devices

Step 2: contact their exes, rivals, colleagues and neighbours to see who's willing to pay for a SWATing. Accept monero only!

Step 3: use IoT garbage as a proxy server to repost something vile where it will be reported.

Step 4: convert monero to BTC and drink margaritas on the beach in El Salvador