Actually, what about a wearable device (watch not dildongle) that buzzes when you get zapped so you can know people are thinking about you but don't need to talk/call/text.

nostr:note14m6f8kn0fgs98rn3pd764s93axyea2ug5y29k6m6cg48mque6l4sgwfujl  

 Sure sure but hear me out - what about a dildongle that tells time? 

 It’s got one read out: sexy time.