Muun is what we go with 

 I'm currently using mutiny foe zaps out and strike for zaps in. Trying to find a better solution for zaps in thats non kyc but strike is fine for now. I tried zeus but couldn't get it to work. My zaps recieved kept getting stuck in the zaplocker and couldn't redeem.  

 Core Lightning is fantastic and noncustodial. You could open one channel to a large node. That gives you a pretty good spending experience. 

Receiving Zaps is a much bigger issue. Noncustodial Zap receiving requires a BTCPay server and is technically challenging to set up. You also probably need to have your node connected over clearnet to reliably receive which presents privacy concerns.  

 Zeus, Mutiny, Breez, and Phoenix. Fountain the v4v podcast app for a quick and dirty lightning address if you hodl the major part your funds on a non-custodial wallet. Or just use Alby. 

 Phoenix is my go-to "node in the phone" wallet and @ZEUS for interfacing with my LND node remotely.