Then, the dawn of hope: remembering that I have a good #urban friend who has promised in the past to do my shady data-hoarder downloads on his heart-of-the-civis unlimited fast fiber.  Then, pricing cheap-to-mail flash USB drives and discovering that while I wasn't watching, they've gotten down into "coffee and a muffin" price territory for the size I need. 

 (Although to be honest, I haven't paid cafe prices for a muffin in years, because seriously, I can make a dozen better ones at home for that kind of money.) 

 @810dcaf1 never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurtling down the highway 

 @c22d0591 Also don't forget that twenty years ago, somebody estimated that a penis (when transmitting genetic data in the usual urgent fashion) has more bandwidth than a typical cable modem of the day. http://www.erosblog.com/2003/01/22/hey-babe-wanna-interface/