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 @7502a322 

I carry one on my belt in a quick draw holster.  It is NOT a good tool, but it IS a convenient tool.  Many times it makes the difference between "Dang it, I'll tighten the screw on this/cut this tag off/open this/hold onto this . . .etc. right now and get it done with" and "Oh, I need to go grab [a tool] to fix this . . ." and then wind up getting distracted or waylaid and then forgetting what the heck I was doing in the first place.

It's useful for Dads with lots of kids. 
 @c1bd69cb I've given them a chance.  Nearly every time the tool available won't do the job.

1/2" nut is a fairly common size and I haven't run across a multitool that will open big enough to turn one.

Most of the screwdrivers are wide, flat pieces of metal that won't go into a recessed hole to turn a screw.

And scissors?  Why a knife *and* scissors.  One of those are unnecessary.

Can/bottle opener?

I don't know who these are for. 
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 @7502a322 
I definitely use the bottle opener.

Scissors - used to trim bangs on a haircut I messed up and just realized, or cut stray threads off someone's shirt (much harder with a knife), cut out shapes in paper for a kid to trace . . .etc.

Screwdrivers - not good, but just they work on the screws of most of the kids' toys battery compartments

I would like the pliers to open wider, but have used them to pull a zip tie tight when my fingers were greasy.

Not good tools. But on hand tools. 
 @c1bd69cb I would like them to save me a trip back to the toolbox and they almost never do.

I know, intellectually, that they work for a great number of people because they sell like hotcakes, but they're useless to me.