lost or stolen is a relative concept. lost is less painful. the reason i had to email him in 2011 was to head him off from doing... things. and i got "caught cheating" as my giddy then husband termed it because he was looking for ways to
undermine me. i navigated out of it alone, went to therapy blah blah. then i ended up pregnant with a broken condom magically. one of the pitfalls of an unaware spouse who secretly hates you when you are so deep there's no sky. sort of like kate middleton. 

anyway - lost is easier.