Sorry to hear all this. Sounds like a lot of frustration and anger, I feel the ranting through the lines. Don't think that an internet stranger can make you feel different. On the other hand I see things so differently. Sure a lot is wrong and it is not like I have much trust in the current political climate in Europe or US, so I resonate on that. However it also feels like a lot of emotions and convictions got mixed up. Fighting fire with fire, most of the time just increases the fire....I hope you find peace in your lifetime.