"All those in need of breeding are asked to report to Hall 1, where our bull will commence his inspection in 5 minutes."

"As always, participants are reminded that, whilst there will inevitably be enough cock for everyone, it is the participant chosen to be first in line who will receive the lion's share of his cum, so ladies, please remember to present yourselves perfectly - face down, arse up, back arched, legs spread - to maximise your chances of success."