No nostr nests though, I hope 

 That's up to the toiletee.  

 Damned censorship resistance  

 a bidet that increases the temperature according to the price of bitcoin 🧡 

 Could.  

 I think this needs more eyeballs. Granted, I have no clue how to do this in code, but, I think it should go something like this:
1. The toilet would have an NFC reader nearby. Most of us have our phones with us when we go to poop, so... 
2. A signing app is opened to initiate an NFC signing event. 
3. The system the reader is attached to pulls down a list of settings via relays. 
4. The bidet is set to your preferred butt blaster mode. 
5. Butt blaster mode is initiated either automatically (per settings) or with another confirmation event. This could be a settings confirmation before initiation. 
6. Your butt gets cleaned (and maybe dried, depending on the bidet's abilities) automatically. 
7. Smile happily. 
8. And since we're in fantasy land... This would be on every toilet in the whole world. 
nostr:nevent1qqsgdh5anfqtqf7ks2ek5a6fgd0n00gscsehlslqn06wan9575sycgcprdmhxue69uhhg6r9vehhyetnwshxummnw3erztnrdakj7q3qq6ya7kz84rfnw6yjmg5kyttuplwpauv43a9ug3cajztx4g0v48eqxpqqqqqqz4pk5nd 

 Would need a new kind. Kind22222 which would be your preferred settings that you post to the relays.