Sorry to hear
I understand the sadness and wish you a good recovery
Sometimes it helps to realise that it could have simply been the best time for him to go
I don't know if he was suffering or not, bit it might be the case that thisiended the suffering, or ended it before it started
Seeing a suffering "friend" is also very unpleasant
Not saying not to care, simply to try to acept and remember all the good times spent together