Oddbean new post about login | logout Even if you are a victim, it does you no good psychologically to dwell on that fact. Let’s imagine you were hit by a drunk driver and both your legs were severely shattered. You’re a victim. Something awful happened to you that you had no control over. But will it help to feel sorry for yourself? Will it heal your legs to blame the drunk driver? Even though something happened to you, you’re the only person who can physically rehab your legs and get yourself walking again. Is this an unfair circumstance? Of course. But what tangible benefit, would you get out of identifying as a victim? In my opinion there isn’t one.
In some cases, I think you can make something good out of victimhood, by becoming a champion for a cause. In your example, if drunk driving is endemic in the area where you live, you can raise awareness about its consequences, and become a kind of spokesperson. Thereby you could possibly (not necessarily) be making the world a bit better, while doing something that is highly meaningful to you.
In that case you’re not making good out of being a victim, but instead making good by setting an example for others than you can reject victimhood irregardless of your circumstances.
Somewhat agree, but the fact that the person is a victim makes them a most legitimate spokesperson for a cause, and their message is received much more powerfully
I wholeheartedly agree that adopting a victim mentality is a poison to the soul. However when you use language like "You’re responsible for everything that has ever or will ever happen to you. Good and bad." That can easily be misinterpreted as you are responsible for the actions done to you by others. You put yourself in that situation and it is your fault. The tangible benefit you get out of identifying as a victim in the drunk driver scenario is that you were the victim of a crime and the drunk driver is going to pay you a tremendous amount of money for breaking your legs. It is the same as identifying as lucky to have won the lottery. But that does not mean your identity as a person who is forever lucky always winning raffles and serendipitous prizes. In life there are victims, it doesn't mean they have to internalize victimhood as a soul form of personal identity. However there are plenty of garbage people that use un-nuanced language to write off acts that victimize people as the victims fault. There are no victims if every is responsible for everything that has ever happened to them.